Bitshitdad doesn't mind the odd kick around in the park, but wonders whether its necessary for it to become slalom course as one has to weave in and out of huge dog turds, shouting to a seven year every couple of minutes, pass the ball, mind the crap, over here, mind the shit, on the head my son...Noooooooo!
My advice to locals is for god sake don't go into that park after dark, the size of the craps on show are truly stupendous and must come from some son of The Hound of the Baskervilles, or being St Leonards Hound of the Basket Meals. Still is it anyworse than the strange site of blue bags of shit hanging in the trees and shrubs, like some strange offering to the Gods 'Lord take this poodle poo as a potent sign of my love and devotion'. Dear God dog owners is it really that hard to put your crap in the bin and not leave it lying either in the grass or in a tree. If I ever find out who is doing this I am personally going to visit and crap on your drive, steps and door and just for good measure I will leave a little blue bag of my poo hanging from the nearest tree.
Or should we be allowed to hunt dogs, not with dogs, but I don't know, foxes maybe. I can see a whole new era of reverse class hunting with hippy's and greebos on chopper bikes, packs of foxes running through urban streets and parks chasing after whatever pug faced child killer is now all the rage in drug selling dog circles. A friend of mine told me how the other day down at the beach huts one of her neighbours asked a passing piece of white trash (is that right wing of me?) to pick up the dog turd his dog had just left behind, which he duly did, before lobbing it at her door. Mmmm nice. But really its not the dog its the owners I hear you cry, fare enough, lets clay pigeon shoot with peasants not pheasants or place a can of diamond white cider on the nearest live rail sit back and watch the night light up with flashes of little death... the children will love it and you can have a barbecue whilst you're at it to disguise the smell of burning flesh, mmmm pass me a spare rib.
Night night all and remember a Shitsu is for life not just Christmas
